Poor Wedding Dad

Thursday, August 20, 2009

The favorite moment

I guess there has to be a favorite moment from your daughter's wedding
that sticks in your heart and mind forever.
It was right before this photo.
The ceremony was done,
the reception was over,
the eco-fetti gauntlet had been run
and the new couple was safely loaded in the limo that would elegantly
take them away to start this new and exciting life together.
Then I heard a familiar sweet voice softly call out
the sweetest word in the English language;


My daughter wanted a kiss goodbye and she whispered a quiet thank you.

My life is all about being a good Husband and Daddy.
There is no better feeling than when you feel you have gotten it right.

When I am old(er) and feeble(er) this memory will still make me smile,
(and make my caregivers wonder what I am up to.)

Monday, August 17, 2009

Can it really be over?

The wedding day has come and gone,
but the exhaustion lingers....
Yep, its hard to believe.
Months and months of preparations,
Miles of scrolls of "Honey Do" lists,
A tremendously overworked Visa card,
And an incredibly exhausting, exciting, emotion filled long weekend
have come to wind down with a whimper and a wheeze
(That was me on Sunday).
I claim the moniker of "Poor Wedding Dad",
but in truth I am rich beyond measure.
I have watched as family and friends worked tirelessly and generously for months helping to get my daughter and new son the "perfect wedding" they wanted.
I have spent the last hour writing and rewriting this posting trying to remember all of you and all of the contributions of time, talent and love that have been made, but it is a job that simply cannot be done adequately.
Can you count the stars and not miss one?
(And believe me, there are a lot of "stars" out there in my sky.)
Much like the stars in the sky,
I know there are those of you out there that made this day possible,
that I don't even know about!
I cannot in good conscience exclude you.
You all know who you are. You know what you have done, and I hope you know how much you are appreciated and loved.
I started this post with the title, "Can it really be over?"
The truth could not be further from that statement.
The truth is that this journey has just started.
The wedding is simply one hour of one day.
It is a mile marker in several lives, that show the day and time when commitments were defined, when relationships were strengthened, and when we, as a family and community of friends and loved ones came together to pledge our support and love for this fine young couple, and to show them our dedication to making their future a journey of love, commitment and joy.
However, In spite of all of this verbose prose,
I suppose that Visa bill is still going to show up.
Thankfully Yours,
Poor Wedding Dad...
ps: To quote Arnold "I'll be back"

Monday, July 13, 2009

The Father of the Bride (The Host) Reception Speech

This one could take some thought,
and the clock is ticking...
I thought I had my participation in this wedding down pat.
You know the old
"Her Mother and I"
and keep the Visa card handy routine.
And Now This;
"What are you going to say at the reception?"
I have plenty of BAD examples to go with.
Lets see:
1)A long disertation on the first family road trip that included the groom to be.
2) Inquiring of the couple when we can expect to see some grandbabies popping out!
And my personal favorite:
3) The Father of the Groom shows up at the reception with the cumberbund tied around his head. You don't even want to know what he said!
So, Help Me Out!
Any noble examples of "Father of the Bride" speeches?
Particular things to include?
Particular things to exclude?
Really funny examples of Dad's gone bad?
Themes that really worked well?
I am new at this and I only get one shot.
Well, at least with THIS daughter!
(I have two more in the wings to worry about later.)

Monday, July 6, 2009

It worked just fine!

Five weeks and counting,
But who's counting?
Unless you of course are counting:
(Man, who did I forget to offend?)
Vases for the Aisle,
Vases for the Reception,
Vases just to Have More Vases,
Flower, Flowers and Oh, Good Grief,
More Flowers!
When and where did all of this change?
Thirty One Years ago, I was a groom in what I considered to be the biggest shing ding to ever hit our little town since the McDonalds arrived!
(McDonald's had a marching band and parachuters - We did not)
We packed out our little church and the reception followed,
(in the fellowship hall of course)
complete with a multi-layered cake
(two layers)
Hawaiian Punch, mints and mixed nuts,
(Not to be confused with our wedding party)
the reception hall was decorated with SEVERAL rolls of colorful crepe paper!
What Could Be Better?
Of course my future Mother In-Law did not see the need for all of the extravagance!
Her wedding was held at the church,
immediately following the Sunday morning service.
"Now don't go rushing off, Bob & Bonnie are going to get married!"
I am pretty sure they had punch and cookies,
(courtesy of the Church Ladies)
And I do know for a fact that they left the reception in fine style,
Heading off to their one night honeymoon at the "Brown Hotel" in a Taxi Cab.
(They had to walk home the following day - They only had cab fare for the trip there)
(But I bet it was a pleasant walk)
Their marriage lasted their entire life, as pledged.
Our marriage is in its 31st year, also as pledged.
Sometimes, it seems that we get so busy planning the wedding,
that we forget to plan the marriage.
How sad.
So, amongst the:
Venue choice,
DJ & Band Tryouts,
Multiple Dress Fittings,
Writing of the Vows and Speeches,
Selection and taste tastings of the menu,
Collection and Selection of the Flowers & Vases,
Lets Not Forget:
That we are
building a marriage,
Not a wedding.
(And you got to admit, it makes a pretty cool Christmas tree)

Monday, June 29, 2009

The Mailing List

Who to invite, whom to exclude...
(See, I was paying attention in grammer class!)

"Oh, but we have to invite them!"
Have I even met them?
(And I am talking about OUR side of the guest list.)

Now I did understand the time honored tradition of inviting the "out of state relative" that won't possibly even consider making the trip, but should be good for a gift;

(I don't see any gifts arriving with my name on them!)

But when I came across this one....

Oh, for crying out loud!

Can we draw a line somewhere!

Actually, if he would come I would gladly foot the bill, BUT

He is sitting at my table!

I have a few things to discuss!

The Male's Mail

Yep, I know you had to read it twice, but this weekend's mail delivery really opened my eyes to the difference between Female Mail and Male Mail.


Well you must understand that since the nearly divine act of completing and mailing of the

the daily receipt of mail, carrying the all important

"RSVP Cards"

is a daily cause for celebration!

Each day the mail carrier is greeted by my youngest daughter, (middle school age & a bridesmaid), and she quickly separates out the RSVP cards and e-mails her sister, (engaged daughter) with the daily responses.

How exciting!

However, Saturday also brought the first official,


Funny, nobody claimed or celebrated over that.
(Well, I do admit to shedding a few tears!)

Friday, June 19, 2009

I Should Have Seen It Coming

If you follow my blog, you know that I like to lament on my frustrations & confusion over the complexity of this entire wedding thing, not to mention the financial aspect of it all!

Complex wedding invitations, multiple dress fittings, several different types of shoes for different participants for each portion of the proceedings, etc.

However, I must say that in all honesty,
"I did see this coming."

It all started 32 years ago when I asked my beloved a simple question:
"Do you want to get married?"

Before I knew it, the announcement was in the paper, the invitations were being sent out and my first ever "Honey Do List (Scroll)" was being printed.

My daughters have inherited my wife's "I know what I want and how I want it" gene.

By the time of our wedding 31.5 years ago, I had created sixteen wooden candle sconces to hang on the church pews, complete with hurricane globes, (the sconces at the rental place were just not right), and a custom hand crafted kneeling bench since the ones we found available were "just not what she had in mind."

That's without mentioning the countles weekends spent searching shoe stores for the wedding shoes she could "just see in my mind."
(Apparently no shoe designer had shared her vision!)

Now its important to remember that while doing all of this custom wedding implement fabrication, I was also carrying a double load of senior level accounting/auditing classes at an out of town University and interviewing to hopefully start my career with a national accounting firm.
(Part of the plan was to be employed when I got married!)

I was busy!

So, this involved wedding planning process is really no big surprise.

My "to do" list this time around includes:

1) Removing the 93 "Flags of all nations" currently displayed 24' off of the sanctuary floor in the front of the church, (the day before the wedding).

2) Designing and building "boxes" that will cover the 93 flag mounts that will remain on the front wall of the church after the 93 "Flags of all nations" have been removed.

3) Successfully installing said boxes 24' off of the sanctuary floor after flags have been removed, (the day before the wedding).

4) Designing, fabrication and installing (the day before wedding) a new white drop curtain to conceal sanctuary light equipment 28" off of sanctuary floor.

5) Procuring and temporarily installling mini-blinds on glass door of room in church where the bride will be preparing, (a taped up pillow case wouldn't work?)

6) Removing and restoring all sanctuary modifications before church service the next day.

The "real scary" part of all of this is that I know,

"The List Has Just Begun!"

(You know, when we had "We've Only Just Begun" played at our wedding,
I never really appreciated the hidden meaning )