What Is He Thinking! Does He Have A Clue?

In my original post, I dedicated this site to all of us long suffering dads. However, I have found myself welcomed and embraced by all of you brides!

First of all, thank you.

I really started this blog as a joke to parody what my daughter was doing on http://august15bride.blogspot.com/ (a really good site), not realizing how involved this blogging is and never having any idea how many of you would be interested in what I would have to say!

That has NEVER happened at home!

Anyway, as my title states, As you travel this road we call wedding planning, apparently many of you wonder about your dad, "What Is He Thinking! & Does He Have A Clue?"

Okay, first of all,

YOU DO NOT WANT TO KNOW WHAT HE IS THINKING!

Trust me on this. Its the same thing he has been thinking since his 15th birthday and you don't EVER want to go there. Let me assure you that your parents found you and your siblings in wicker baskets left on their front doors by loving mothers who are complete strangers.

Now on to the second question:

"Does He Have A Clue?"

Answer: "Nope!"

We were clueless as grooms, (as your beloved groom is) and we haven't changed a bit. Most of us think of invitations as something you pick up at Hallmark. "30 cents each? Sounds fair." We definitely don't get this envelope inside an envelope with an envelope deal. So, take it easy on us. Although most of us Dad's may seem to worship tools, (Can we talk about the new matt finish Snap-On combination metric wrenches?) we simply don't have the tools (or have any desire to obtain the tools) to understand all of this.

{ Segue: My daughter has just fallen in love with shoes to wear to the reception? What? Does the 30' she is going to walk in her "Wedding Shoes" exceed the warrantee? This shoe thing has me completely baffled}

BUT, most of us really want to be there to support you .

So...In addition to asking you to give your Dad a break, I am also opening a forum for your questions. If you wonder, "What Is He Thinking?" or " Does He Have A Clue?" I invite you to ask away. If you are "wondering", I am sure there are lots of other brides wondering the same thing.

Or maybe you are just really strange, but either way it may be enlightening or entertaining at the least.

Now, for our first caller on line one......

A Dad's perspective...

In my humble opinion, Hollywood does a really crummy job of capturing the "real" moments of our of normally mundane lives. These "real" moments define who we are, capture the essence of our being and if you will excuse the comparison, "place the bookmarks in the story of our life." (Hey, that's not bad!)

There are notable exceptions.

In an earlier post, I attempted to terrify my daughter and wife by pretending to post photos of the first fitting of her wedding dress. By the way, it worked!



This past weekend my wife presented me with a photograph she had dug out of the family archives. This is the lovely bride to be, with her cousin Emily at "The First Fitting."

(Que up high volume "Awww!!!")

This is one moment Hollywood got right, in what I consider to be the most memorable moment from the remake of the movie " Father of the Bride."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47aPsSbRcTc&feature=PlayList&p=812A6E15D292D6C7&index=11

You want to see things from the Dad's perspective?

That about sums it up.

Love you Sweetie!

Ps. This not my swan song, I have lots more to say!

DGRIN

If The Shoe "Rents"...

Okay, I admit that I am new to this "Father of the Bride" thing, and I had better get a good handle on it pretty soon seeing that I have four beautiful daughters!

However, I am confused about this whole "Tuxedo Shoes" thing.

I have been hearing wife and daughter chatter about a lot of wedding issues, but I was concerned when I think I heard my wife reassuring my daughter that she need not be concerned about my new "wedding shoes" purchase; that I would be wearing "proper" tuxedo shoes at her wedding!

Now I realize that this wedding is about a whole lot of things, and that I am "not" included in that list, but what is the deal with these shoes!

Tuxedo Shoes?


Are you kidding me?

These things look like plastic 1970's marching band shoes!

Where are the spats?

I remember wearing these things at my wedding in 1978, but I was too young and stupid to wonder why I was wearing shoes that probably were at a high school prom the weekend before!

Now the fine leather "Florsheims" "Wedding Shoes" that I so frugally purchased for $59 at the local Beall's Department store (On sale at 40% off!), are proudly displayed below:

Now that is a fine shoe! Leather uppers and "dance floor smooth" soles.

Quality leather, timeless styling and dare I say, comfort? I realize the word "comfort" and "wedding shoes" may not be used in the same sentence very often in wedding planning, but as Martha would say,

"It is a good thing."

I have no delusions about winning this battle, but hey, at least I had my say!

To paraphrase a popular 60's saying:

"Keep On Blogging"

The thing that keeps me up at night!

I know that brides are supposed to have "pre-wedding jitters"and maybe even a major breakdown (or two, or three, etc. ad nauseum), and that the moms have to fret over finding that perfect dress, (or two or three based on the number of rehearsals, showers, etc.).

I am also aware that a groom or two has been known to develop "cold feet" at some time during the decade long process of wedding planning, even though they have virtually nothing to plan, shop for or even organize!

However, when it comes to the father of the bride, it is assumed that our big worry is remembering our one big line;

"Her Mother And I"

WRONG!!!

Perhaps you have forgotten the most terrorizing part of the entire shower, wedding, reception ordeal,

"The Father Daughter Dance!"

(Que up the Stephen King Scream Audio)

For 50 years I have avoided the idea of standing on a dance floor with one of my beautiful daughters; on her most special day; surrounded by 400 plus expectant eyes (2 per person!), and countless professional and professional wannabe photographers, and knowing full well in my heart that my dance talents consist of two dance moves, specifically "The Wounded Chicken" and the ever famous "White Man Overbite."

I have spent several television seasons carefully examining the dance moves exhibited on "Dancing With The Stars," but I have come to the conclusion that neither the Argentine Tango, the Non-Argentine Tango (?), the Quick Step, The Jive or the ever popular "Passo Doubley (My spelling) are suitable for a Father/Daughter dance.

Now, my lovely daughter has not yet informed me of the music we will be dancing to, (Hint, Hint), so I have decided on a general purpose video instruction program.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tD7Rj8GkBtM

Hmm, maybe this isn't exactly what she has in mind.

Any hints?

The First Fitting

Wow! What a Dad moment. Watching my baby have the first fitting of her wedding dress. These are the moments when dry eyes are just not allowed, but I was just too WOWED to even puddle up a little. What a beautiful bride she will be.
The first fitting actually happened about two weeks ago and I was there, but yesterday I had her Mom's camera and saw the photos for the first time.
Sorry honey, but I just can't wait to share them!

(INSERT HYSTERICAL MANIACAL LAUGHTER HERE !)

Was this a mean trick?

Sorry honey, I would NEVER show your wedding gown photos.

I am only imagining my wife and daughter's blood pressure as they waited for the non-existent photo to load.

I expect to get a phone call or two from this one, and possibly a night on the couch.

This is a very interesting time of my life. I have always been accused of being "cheap", and being that I am the father of four daughters, it is a misrepresentation that I am glad to encourage! My boss (of 29 years) even likes to tell his friends that I am so cheap that I won't let him spend his own money! (His Ferrari, Bentley and ranch in Montana seem to be at odds with that.)
The truth is, I am actually an old softy pushover, and I am really only cheap when it comes to spending money for and on myself.
This is an interesting time, because I am now dealing with the first formal wedding of a daughter. (I will further explain my use of the word "formal" at some other time.)
As the preparations and spending, are gearing up and gaining speed, the illusion of my "cheapness" is starting to wear away!
How can I continue to protect this image that I have spent so many decades perfecting?
I can ponder this, because all ot the actual "wedding ponderings" seem to be off limits to me!

This Blog is dedicated to all of us longsuffering, budget busted, smiling while we watch our retirement dreams disappear, fathers of wedding age daughters!