Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Talking To Her Dad!

Now this posting may seem to apply to the grooms and potential grooms, but lets face it;
Grooms don't read this stuff!

And...The reality is, we all know who "Grooms the Groom!" now don't we...

Now you all think this has to do with the big ceremonial, ancient ritual of

"Asking the father for permission to marry the daughter."

but lets not get ahead of ourselves.

I suspect that many of you out there are still a little bit away from THAT scenario, and are still dealing with a potential groom, or still "seeking" said potential groom.

That said, let us start with the basics.

"Meeting the Dad"

If I could pass on THEE most important thing you can advise your groom (potential groom, virtual groom, etc) to do when first meeting the "Dad"; it would be to:
"Look him in the eye and shake his hand!"


You would think this stuff would be taught in boy's 5th grade gym class, but I can't tell you how terrible it is to have your daughter introduce you to (insert rodent's name here) and have the ingrate look as his shoes, stuff his hands in his pockets and turn away!

Face it, no guy will ever be good enough in a father's eyes, but at least he wants to know the guy is a man!
ps: This protocol also applies to each and every subsequent meeting.

Its easy, its simple, and it keeps the dad from glancing around the room looking for an available baseball bat!

(deep breath, check pulse, regulate blood pressure...)

Okay now, onto that "OTHER" Dad and other potential uninvited family member meeting.

I know it is archaic, ancient, demeaning, sexist, etc, etc, etc.


Try to look at it this way, the Dad is about to lose (in his mind) one of the most important treasures of his life, his little girl, and as a consolation prize, its probably gonna cost him a bundle to do it!

The Dad knows he doesn't have to be asked.

The Dad knows he doesn't have a choice,

(Face it, he probably is or was married at some time in his life. Nuff said)

The Dad knows that once this "wedding" ball gets rolling, nobody is going to ask him anything else.

Do him a favor:
"Ask Him"

It doesn't matter if he is asked "For His Permission" or "For His Blessing".

He can't say "no".

He knows the deal is already done, and at some time he has to face his wife and daughter!
(And grooms think Dad's are scary!)

I have been asked once.
(I should have been asked twice by now, and being asked is much better)

I have to admit that I lectured for at least 90 minutes, but...I knew it was my last shot for a long time.


So, to sum it up:
1) Look Dad in eye.
2) Shake his hand.
3) Ask him.
4) Shut up and listen.

Remember, some bum may be "asking" you some day!


  1. good to have you writing again.

  2. Thank you,
    It's good to be back!

  3. Ha. I wish we could have done that, but there was a pretty big chance my Dad would have said "no".

    Thanks for your wonderful blog--it's nice to see the perspective of a Dad who's pleasant, optimistic, and excited. :)

  4. An Iowa bride, how exciting.
    In my humble opinion, Iowa brides are best!
    (That oughta keep me out of the dog house for a day or two since I married a Des Moines girl 30 years ago!)
    I can't imagine your Dad saying no.
    Thinking "No", yes...Saying "No", not so much.

  5. I'm glad that my groom did it right. :)

  6. My boyfriend is "cut from the same (Lowe's/Home Depot) cloth" as my daddy is. The first time they met my mom said "Look, I think Dad's in love....(as they were talking about 2' by 4's)". I know he will ask Daddy, and I already know Daddy's answer, and I love them both because of that. ROCK!!!!

  7. Awh, Lloyd, how sweet! Although, I'm a recent Des Moines transplant (I'm from Chicago) so I'm still getting used to being an "Iowa Bride." :)

    As for my Dad, thanks. :)

    Best Wishes!

  8. My daughter just tipped me off to your blog. She's getting married in two weeks. I have three daughters (this is the first one to get married), and they all know that I expect to be asked before they do. The future son-in-law lives 2,000 miles away (and is taking her there), but did give me a call before flying out and surprising her with a ring. I expect the same from my next two sons-in-law-to-be.

  9. Can I just say AMEN. ;) Glad to have you posting again!!